HOW DO I CONTROL MY ANGER?

You can learn to better regulate your anger by mastering these three simple skills.

This powerful negative emotion emerges when we see a threat or unfair treatment that prevents us from accomplishing one of our goals. Some psychologists believe that our "approach motivation"—the desire to pursue good things—is simply stifled when we are confronted with obstacles (Carver & Harmon-Jones, 2009). Anger is frequently directed at someone else, has an increase in physiological activation, and alters our mental processes, among other characteristics.

Despite the fact that many people view anger as a negative feeling, research shows that people are capable of experiencing mild to moderate rage on a daily to weekly basis (Berkowitz & Harmon-Jones, 2004). As a result, we're left with a lot of resentment. So, how do we deal with this issue?

Controlling Your Angry Emotions Is Vital

There are many bad emotions that make us desire to flee and hide, such as grief, embarrassment, or fear. But not with rage. Being angry causes us to seek out our foes and engage them in combat. As a result, rage is a distinct type of negative emotion. Keeping our anger in check is critical, but we must also guard against repressing it, which can backfire on us in a negative way. When anger is channeled and communicated in a constructive way, it appears to have the most positive effects.

Angry feelings to control could include the following:

• Frustration

• Contempt

• Outrage

• Fury

• Bitterness

• Resentment

It is believed that each of these feelings is strongly connected to anger, and it is possible that we have a tendency to display certain of these feelings more frequently than others.

Efficiently Controlling Anger (Anger out/anger in)

The phrase “anger out" is what we think of when we see a cartoon character with a red face and steam coming out of his ears. Anger of this nature is displayed physically or verbally. “Anger out” can cause problems in personal and professional relationships. Who wants to spend their time with someone who is constantly screaming and agitated? Overly frequent, overly severe, overly extended, or poorly managed anger may necessitate anger management therapy.

People who suppress their anger are rarely considered when discussing methods for controlling anger. Although they've been poked, prodded, and tortured, they don't lash out in rage. "Anger in" might sometimes have negative implications. Increased hypertension is linked to "anger in," but anger out is not (Hosseini et al., 2011).

What Sets Off Anger in You?

Hostility, resentment, and suspicion are thought to boost one's rage, according to the research (Fives, Kong, Fuller, & DiGiuseppe, 2011). Anger can also be caused by awfulizing—imagining a situation to be as dreadful as possible—and having a low tolerance for frustration (Martin & Dahlen, 2004).

Another study among women indicated that violations of personal values, a sense of powerlessness, and disrespectful treatment were the most typically triggering factors for anger. Anger is commonly felt by women when they want something to change but can't get anyone else to do it or even hear them. When women used their anger to restore fairness, respect, and reciprocity in their relationships, they regained a sense of power (Thomas, Smucker, & Droppleman, 1998).

Anger management training

In most cases, students learn how to control their anger in a formal setting like a classroom. Anger management tactics can be learned and practiced through the exchange of knowledge and the introduction of fresh viewpoints to the community. In this way, people can learn to empathize, give criticism, and act out conflict situations.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with our feelings of rage. Cognitive abilities for reframing and managing one's emotions may be necessary for persons who frequently display their rage. On the other hand, folks who keep a lid on their rage may need to practice verbalizing it more.

Anger management strategies

1. Keep a journal of your frustrations. It's possible that journaling can help you better understand the source of your anger and the cognitive processes that lead to it spiraling out of control. Try to figure out exactly what is causing your rage in your journal. What are you thinking about right now? Are you experiencing any particular feelings right now? In order to get over your rage, what can you do?

2. Take control of your furious thoughts. You should make an effort to reframe your anger in ways that will assist you in making changes to the things that are bothering you.

3. Be your own advocate and speak up. To lessen the impact of powerlessness on your life, develop the habit of being assertive, engage in self-directed negotiation, and establish clear boundaries.

The feeling of anger can be rather powerful at times, yet it is also a feeling that can be controlled. With any luck, the information presented here will point you in the correct direction.

References

Berkowitz, L., & Harmon-Jones, E. (2004). Toward an understanding of the determinants of anger. Emotion, 4(2), 107.

Carver, C. S., & Harmon-Jones, E. (2009). Anger is an approach-related affect: evidence and implications. Psychological bulletin, 135(2), 183.

​Fives, C. J., Kong, G., Fuller, J. R., & DiGiuseppe, R. (2011). Anger, aggression, and irrational beliefs in adolescents. Cognitive therapy and research, 35(3), 199-208.

​Martin, R. C., & Dahlen, E. R. (2004). Irrational beliefs and the experience and expression of anger. Journal of Rational-Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 22(1), 3-20.

Hosseini, S. H., Mokhberi, V., Mohammadpour, R. A., Mehrabianfard, M., & Lashak, N. B. (2011). Anger expression and suppression among patients with essential hypertension. International journal of psychiatry in clinical practice, 15(3), 214-218.

Thomas, S., Smucker, C., & Droppleman, P. (1998). It hurts most around the heart: A phenomenological exploration of women’s anger. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 28(2), 311-322